Everything But A Mother

A Conversation with Davina Goh

 

Actress, plant-based lifestyle advocate, open-water swimmer, and voiceover artist—Davina Goh is many things, but for some, one label seems to overshadow the rest: childfree.

 

Davina’s life is full of adventure, creativity, and purpose. She has traveled the world, built a fulfilling career, volunteered for causes close to her heart, and surrounded herself with meaningful friendships. And yet, her decision not to have children is often questioned, as if a woman’s worth is measured by motherhood alone.

 

In Wonderwhy’s Childfree Neighbor magazine, Davina takes the pen into her own hands, reflecting on what it means to live authentically, unbound by societal expectations. Today, she sits down with our editor-in-chief, Hana Irena, to talk about the process of translating those reflections into words, the personal experiences that shaped her perspective, and the deeper questions about fulfillment, legacy, and choice.

Hana Irena: You’ve applied as Wonderwhy’s contributor for our previous issue, but we contacted you almost a year later for an entirely different project. Did you expect us to reach out for the Childfree Neighbor magazine?

Davina Goh: Not at all! I can’t even remember what I applied for. I know that you were looking for contributors, but I’m not sure if I applied for a specific theme at the time. I think at some point I had kind of assumed that I didn’t get accepted as a contributor. And so when I got your email, I was thinking, “Well, I can’t remember the theme being this (Childfree Neighbor), but it’s perfect!” The pieces fell in perfect timing—I’m in a really really good place to have lived long enough as a single, divorced woman, and cat mom, to be able to share a story that is a little bit more fleshed out.

 

But you know, the childfree topic is pretty personal. What makes you willing to share your personal experience in the Childfree Neighbor magazine?

I said yes because I had a feeling that people like me are quite few and far between. I think generally either Gen Z artists relate to me, or the one or two people my age who are also childfree by choice. I wanted to share my story because I had a hunch it’s not one people hear often. More than anything, I want people to see just how happy I am. It took me a long time to get here, but I’ve never felt more at peace, fulfilled, and constantly growing all at once.

 

You’re living!

Yeah, I’m living my life! And I want to break the stigma that women at this age somehow lose their value—whether in the workplace, in relationships, or in society’s eyes. Honestly, I was just minding my own business, living my life, and being happy. But over time, I’ve come to realize the value of sharing my voice—because so many women don’t realize that they, too, have the power to live on their own terms, free from expectations that don’t resonate with them.

 

 

How’s your experience writing your story? Do you get to reflect a lot?

Yeah, I did. I actually wrote my reflection during my trip to Chiang Mai for a friend’s wedding. And I made it a point to write everything by hand—pen to paper. It’s a principle I’ve always followed when writing something creative. Putting words on paper helps me connect with what I’m expressing, and only when I’m happy with it do I type it out. Unless, of course, I’m racing against a deadline—then I’ll type straight away. But I truly enjoy the slow, intentional process of crafting a story. And being in a beautiful place like Chiang Mai made it even more special. It helped me stay mindful, present, and appreciative of how far I’ve come.

 

Davina writing her reflection in a cafe during her trip to Chiang Mai

 

Did you learn something new about yourself while writing the story?

I think for some days I really take my freedom for granted—and that it reminded me that I am the captain of my own ship. I didn’t discover new things, but I’ve never been invited to share my perspective as a childfree woman. I’ve always been asked what it’s like to be a vegan, or what it’s like to be a voice actor, but never what it’s like to be a childfree woman. And not even childless—like childfree. And to really bask in the joy of the decision of what I have made. It wasn’t a learning experience, but a fresh reminder. It was a nice feeling to bask in. I really made a good choice for myself.

 

There are days when I take my freedom for granted, but moments like this remind me that I’m the captain of my own ship. I didn’t discover anything new, but I realized that I’ve never really been invited to share my perspective as a childfree woman before. People usually ask me what it’s like to be a vegan or a voice actor—but never what it’s like to be childfree. And not just childless, but childfree. It felt good to bask in that feeling, you know, that I made the right choice for myself.

 

What do you expect from the Childfree Neighbor magazine? Are there any perspectives you’re eager to read about?

Oh, I’m excited to hear from my homies! It reminds me of how everyone starts out as a vegan—you feel like the only one in the country, like nobody understands you. But then, little by little, you find others who share the same views, whether through social media, events, or just putting yourself out there.

 

In the same way, I’m really looking forward to seeing the voices of my childfree family across the region. Honestly, if it weren’t for Childfree Neighbor, I wouldn’t even know how to do a shoutout like, “Hey… anyone want to hang out?”—not just on a regional level, but even in my own neighborhood. So I’m excited to see how this lifestyle plays out in different countries, and to find the little common threads we share. I’m very excited for that.

 

Davina's reflection on Wonderwhy's Childfree Neighbor Magazine

 

We’re also featuring not just childfree people, but also parents and those who want five kids!

That’s great to hear! I’d love to see those perspectives too. If someone is truly meant to be a parent and isn’t pressured into having a big family—yeah, go for it! Kids are awesome!

 

Anyways, what have you been up to lately, Davina?

As the president of Vegan Society Malaysia, there’s always work to be done and initiatives to consolidate. In a way, I feel like I’m mothering—rallying everyone like, “Come on, kids, let’s get things going! Time to get out of bed and push this campaign forward.” I’m definitely channeling my motherly instincts in other ways. That takes up a lot of space in my head—in the best way possible. I really enjoy stepping into my era of leadership.

 

At the same time. I’m also doing my own things still, like building up skills, improving mobility, and considering what to do with the rest of my year. I’m torn between traveling for the European Summit or training for a 5 km swimming event in Singapore this July. Training would take up all my time, and the trip would take up all my money [laughs]. So, I’m weighing my options!

 

With so many exciting things in your life, how do you go about discovering new interests?

I think the main pillars of my life are veganism, creative work (acting/performing/voiceover), and physical pursuits to stay functional and active. These are the things that truly resonate with me and allow me to express my most authentic self. If an activity aligns with any of these areas—even better if it overlaps—that’s usually how I end up discovering new interests I never expected.

 

I love how you live your life, and your experiences as a childfree woman in your 40s are truly inspiring. I’m sure our readers will feel the same! Is there anything you’d like to say to the readers?

I believe many truths can exist within us, and there’s really no such thing as a "bad" choice in life. It all comes down to what’s accessible, what makes sense at the time, and what you make of your circumstances.

 

I’d encourage readers to embrace their own complexities—life isn’t just black and white. Like, yes, I’m childfree, but I LOVE kids! People often assume being childfree means disliking children, but for me, it’s quite the opposite. One of the reasons I chose this path is so I could spend time with many kids, not just my own. I think I’m a kid at heart, and being around children gives both of us permission to just have fun. The best part is that at the end of the day, I can give them back to their parents!

 

I didn’t know that you love kids that much!

Oh, they’re the best! But honestly, one of the reasons I chose not to have my own is because I know myself—I’d beat myself up over being the best mom, making sure my child has the best life possible. What if they get bullied? What if they become the bully? What if they turn into a total deviant? Or what if they want to be an accountant and I don’t approve? Haha! I know I’d hover, trying to mold them into the perfect person, and in the process, I’d drive both of us miserable. I’d lose myself.

 

Some people are built for parenthood, and that’s amazing! But for me? I can barely pick up after myself on some days. Getting out of bed to feed my cats is already an achievement! I just can’t trust myself not to let motherhood consume me. I overthink, I over-feel, and honestly, the world isn’t making it any easier—climate change, inflation—I can’t deal with that!

 

So instead, I focus on the people who are already here. If I can make someone’s life better now, that’s enough for me. Even without children of my own, I can still express my motherhood in different ways. Some days, I might feel lonesome, but at the same time, I feel deeply grateful for this journey. Life is nuanced, and instead of shutting that out, I choose to embrace it. It’s a beautiful expression of how multifaceted we are as human beings. And sometimes, it’s nice to just bask in the grace of it all.

 

Davina shares more about her journey—what it’s like to navigate life as a childfree woman in her 40s, the thoughts that often cross her mind, and her plans for the future as she grows older without children. Read her full reflection, along with 20+ other stories from diverse voices across Southeast Asia, in Wonderwhy’s Childfree Neighbor magazine. Grab your copy today—check our stockist list here.